Horror Tales

Fairy tales have always been something that I thought were told to instil some feel good feeling and give hope to kids. Or maybe just to put them to sleep as quickly as possible. But have you ever properly analysed some of these stories? I was thinking about it and some of my friends said that maybe I should have a bit of a rant about a few of these horror stories and talk about what I think about them honestly. I have decided to pick a few of them and I think I will start with the Cinderella (Only because I know the story off the top of my head)

  1. Cinderella
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The Clean cut Disney version

Once upon a time, there was a widower who married a proud and haughty woman as his second wife. She had two daughters, who were equally vain and selfish. By his first wife, he’d had a beautiful young daughter, a girl of unparalleled goodness and sweet temper. The stepmother and her daughters forced the first daughter into servitude, where she was made to work day and night doing menial chores. After the girl’s chores were done for the day, she would retire to the barren and cold room given to her, and would curl up near the fireplace in an effort to stay warm. She would often arise covered in cinder, giving rise to the mocking nickname “Cinderella”. Cinderella bore the abuse patiently and dared not tell her father, since his wife controlled him entirely.

One day, the Prince invited all the young ladies in the land to a ball, planning to choose a wife from amongst them. The two stepsisters gleefully planned their wardrobes for the ball, and taunted Cinderella by telling her that maids were not invited.

As the sisters departed to the ball, Cinderella cried in despair. Her Fairy Godmother magically appeared and immediately began to transform Cinderella from house servant to the young lady she was by birth, all in the effort to get Cinderella to the ball. (Courtesy of Wikipedia)

Translation: She was a step daughter in a family, and her step sisters and her step mom didn’t care about her. She was abused… a lot, sent to sleep without food probably, wasn’t allowed to bath, made into a slave. I don’t want my kid to think about that possibility in life. I don’t want to think about it. The poor child was abused. She was abused so much that she dreamt up a fairy Godmother, to come and give her clothes and a pumpkin carriage. Ok that’s just crazy. Poor girl cracked under all the torture. Now the other random question I just thought up is, was it a fairy Godmother or a witch? I mean who rocks up in a pumpkin. You mention pumpkin, and I think Halloween.

It makes me almost think that maybe the poor child resorted to some good and proper psychedelic drugs. She managed to dream up this elaborate story of her going off to a ball, meeting Mr. Charming, dancing, leaving before midnight (standard curfew. She was on drugs), ,dropping the shoe and then this dude looking through the whole of town with her shoe and getting people to try it on? And this guy was like “you are the most beautiful thing on this planet. Will you be my princess” and he never knew a single thing about her? I think this is one I may avoid letting my kids hear. Making them think they can leave their shoe at the club and some guy will come and be like “Yo! You left your shoe. Let’s roll…”

  1. Little Red Riding Hood
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Behind you!!!!

This one is just dark. I don’t even have to ask wiki for a synopsis. If you need a reminder of the story click here. So this chick gets sent by her mum to go see her granny. As she is walking through the woods to her granny’s house,(On her own by the way. I mean who lets her kids just walk through the woods on their own. What kind of parenting IS that?) a wolf sees her and says, “I know where she is going. Let me dash to her destination, eat her granny and if I am lucky I will eat her.” Off races the wolf, murders a poor old lady, covers up the crime, and decides to impersonate the granny with the hope of eating this poor unsuspecting girl. The wolf fails and is shot. Dead. By a hunter. The end.

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Cute the old Looney Toons end theme song

I mean… how is this happy? Why would I wanna tell my kids about this morbid story about a murdering wolf, an irresponsible parent and a random guy in the woods with a gun? Seriously?

  1. Rapunzel
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That’s apparently Taylor Swift btw

A lonely couple, who want a child, live next to a walled garden belonging to an enchantress. The wife, experiencing the cravings associated with the arrival of her long-awaited pregnancy, notices a rapunzel plant), growing in the garden and longs for it, desperate to the point of death. On each of two nights, the husband breaks into the garden to gather some for her; on a third night, as he scales the wall to return home, the enchantress, Dame Gothel, catches him and accuses him of theft. He begs for mercy, and the old woman agrees to be lenient, on condition that the then-unborn child be surrendered to her at birth. Desperate, the man agrees. When the baby girl is born, the enchantress takes the child to raise as her own, and names the baby Rapunzel. Rapunzel grows up to be the most beautiful child in the world with long golden hair. When Rapunzel reaches her twelfth year, the enchantress shuts her away in a tower in the middle of the woods, with neither stairs nor a door, and only one room and one window. When the witch visits Rapunzel, she stands beneath the tower and calls out:

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair, so that I may climb the golden stair”.

Upon hearing these words, Rapunzel would wrap her long, fair hair around a hook beside the window, dropping it down to the enchantress, who would then climb up the hair to Rapunzel’s tower room.

One day, a prince rides through the forest and hears Rapunzel singing from the tower. Entranced by her ethereal voice, he searches for the girl and discovers the tower, but is naturally unable to enter. He returns often, listening to her beautiful singing, and one day sees Dame Gothel visit, and thus learns how to gain access to Rapunzel. When Dame Gothel is gone, he bids Rapunzel let her hair down. When she does so, he climbs up, makes her acquaintance, and eventually asks her to marry him. Rapunzel agrees.

Together they plan a means of escape, wherein he will come each night (thus avoiding the enchantress who visited her by day), and bring her silk, which Rapunzel will gradually weave into a ladder. Before the plan can come to fruition, however, Rapunzel foolishly gives the prince away. In anger, Dame Gothel cuts short Rapunzel’s braided hair and casts her out into the wilderness to fend for herself. When the prince calls that night, the enchantress lets the severed braids down to haul him up. To his horror, he finds himself staring at the witch instead of Rapunzel, who is nowhere to be found. When she tells him in anger that he will never see Rapunzel again, he leaps from the tower in despair and is blinded by the thorns below.

For months, he wanders through the wastelands of the country and eventually comes to the wilderness where Rapunzel now lives with the twins she has given birth to, a boy and a girl. One day, as Rapunzel sings while she fetches water, the prince hears Rapunzel’s voice again, and they are reunited. When they fall into each other’s arms, her tears immediately restore his sight. The prince leads her and their children to his kingdom, where they live happily ever after. (Courtesy of the all mighty and knowledgeable Wikipedia)

Translation: First of all, who gives away their unborn child because they have been caught stealing a PLANT!!! THAT’S POOR PARENTING AGAIN!!!! It’s as if in the past ages giving unborn children away was common practice. Once again we find that this poor girl was abused. She was locked in a tower; her hair wasn’t cut (which is very unhygienic. How the hell did she brush it), her spirit was broken, she lost all her social skills as the only person she saw was this Dame. No mention of the Dame bringing her food or water so one must assume she ate her hair in order to survive.

It’s no surprise that she agrees to marry the first person she meets. She doesn’t know any better. Who knows what he got up to when he went to see her at night, especially as she didn’t know any better. Of course her hair being cut after her secret lover gets caught was no surprise. What better way of punishing someone than by taking away their only source of sustenance.

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A more racey version of this hairy lady (get it???)

He goes blind and becomes a vagrant roaming the lands, till he hears her singing, gets his eye-sight back and BOOM happily ever after. At least this one actually sort of has a happily ever after to it… regardless of the abuse of the poor child.

This is the sum of my thoughts with regards to fairy tales. If you agree, let me know. If you don’t agree, let me know.

“Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.” – Oscar Wilde

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Author: ensigntongs

Husband, parent of two (dogs), music junkie, electro jiving, movie loving, needy beer liking, "alternative", fun loving, carefree, occasionally hangry, PS3 addict, funky house head bopping, willing zombie response team member, whiskey drinker, conspiracy theorist, android loving, Apple hating, Kenny Rogers respecting, life and fun loving member of planet earth!

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