RIPD (Rest in Peace Department. Includes spoilers…. Lots of them)

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R.I.P.D – Rest In Peace Department

 

Actors: Ryan Reynolds (Green Lantern)

Jeff Bridges (Some other movies…. I don’t know them)

Kevin Bacon (A lot of other movies I can’t be bothered to look up or care to remember. He did act in this series called the following)

So my initial guess is that this movie was supposed to be like a comedy. I didn’t quite get the WHOLE comedy side of it. It has at most some amusing parts. The rest of the movie had a rather sombre feel to it.

So Green lantern is a semi dirty cop who has decided that it is time to get out of the business of being a dirty-ish cop. It is never explained how dirty he is, but he is a little dirty. You could compare him to a shit stain, as opposed to a full blown steaming coil. Of course as a cop, he has a partner who is also part of the dirt crew.

Just as it seems like Green Lantern is getting a conscious he is (wait for it) shot by his partner who doesn’t WANT to be handwashed of machine washed. He wants to eventually become a steaming coil.

Green Lantern dies, and instead of going to Hell or Heaven, he ends up as a cop for a department that keeps dead people dead… or something like that. They stop dead people from mingling with humans. In effect they are a knock off version of Men In Black. A very cheap knock off version.

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The movie tries to give Green Lantern and Jeff Bridges some funny relationship that grows as the movies gets more and more pedestrian. To throw an (un)expected twist, it turns out that Green Lantern’s partner Mr. Bacon, is a deado (that what they call them) and is trying to bring the world to an end by bringing the dead back or some funny shit like that.

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Typical deado
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Another deado variant

I honestly felt like this was a movie from a comic, and it would have made so much more sense to keep it as a comic. All the deados could have been made to look so cool, you could have understood the relationship between Green Lantern and the Jeff Bridges, between the Bacon and the Lantern.

All in all the movie had no memorable things about it, it almost made me laugh once, but it was not about some witty comment in the movie, but just by how ridiculous the movie actually was. When I was given the movie I was warned that it was leaning very close to a dried piece of dog poo, but I decided that for the future of my blog, I would endure the movie so that it would have something to vaguely talk about while at work watching a dust storm in the middle of winter in Zimbabwe (which doesn’t happen). I would attach pictures of evidence but I can’t be bothered to go outside of my office.

My week in whatsapp images session 2

So week two is here. Quick update. KFC opened in zimbabwe. Its genetically grown chicken has driven zimbos crazy. Its actually stupid. Also I’m an uncle for the third time. My oldest brothers wife gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. Wonderful addition to the ever grown family! Have a safe weekend people.

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Errrr great robbery!!!

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This was a b movie I decided not to watch and this is what I missed out on...

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Black people love parties... Esp the ones that aren't their own

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My Week in Whatsapp Photos Session 1

Like many people I use whatsapp. Mainly cos I’m a cheap person and its easier to communicate with people all over the world. The fact remains that it has also become a very easy way to share pictures and help to create memes that will travel from Uzbekistan to Alaska faster than a three year old high on sugar can run around in circles.

So I have decided that once a week I will share selected photos that I have received. Some are self explanatory, while others are just down right mad.

If I offend anyone, well sorry. It’s just the internets.

This week seemed to be dominated by Kermit the Frog.

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There are some people you don't try rob!!
There are some people you don’t try rob!!

 

huh???
huh???

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errrr....
errrr….
We have all been through this...
We have all been through this…
Germany, 2014 Fifa World Cup Holders
Germany, 2014 Fifa World Cup Holders

Suárez The Nibbler

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So he’s at it again. For those of you who don’t know, Suarez is a football player who now on three occasions he has bitten an opponent. His first (recorded) taste of human flesh was while he played for Ajax (insert youtube clip). I thought that it was nothing more than a weird incident. By the time he did it the second time, he was trying to gnaw the arm off a Chelsea player (insert clip). He some how thought he would get away with it, when nowadays football matches have numerous cameras around the pitch with many angles.

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The THIRD incident (you would have thought 1 was enough. Clearly this human flesh issue of his is actually out of hand…) was done on a stage far bigger than the Dutch League and the English Premier League. The world cup. Here he is caught sinking those teeth of his into the shoulder of another player. It turns out that there are various types of punishments he may get, but the main one that he might end up getting is a two year ban from football. If he gets that ban it will mean that he will sit on his bums at Liverpool for a very long time not doing anything and getting paid for it. Awesome for him, not so much for employers and future employers.

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Funny thing, I was watching Sky Sports news the morning after Suarez had eaten his opponents arm and part of his torso, there were pundits debating whether he would “stop biting or not”. Most of them don’t think that he will. Hopefully they will protect future players from the zombie apocalypse and also from rabies by either muzzling the chap, and also by making sure all players, back room staff and supporters get a shot before they watch him play.

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