Suárez The Nibbler


So he’s at it again. For those of you who don’t know, Suarez is a football player who now on three occasions he has bitten an opponent. His first (recorded) taste of human flesh was while he played for Ajax (insert youtube clip). I thought that it was nothing more than a weird incident. By the time he did it the second time, he was trying to gnaw the arm off a Chelsea player (insert clip). He some how thought he would get away with it, when nowadays football matches have numerous cameras around the pitch with many angles.


The THIRD incident (you would have thought 1 was enough. Clearly this human flesh issue of his is actually out of hand…) was done on a stage far bigger than the Dutch League and the English Premier League. The world cup. Here he is caught sinking those teeth of his into the shoulder of another player. It turns out that there are various types of punishments he may get, but the main one that he might end up getting is a two year ban from football. If he gets that ban it will mean that he will sit on his bums at Liverpool for a very long time not doing anything and getting paid for it. Awesome for him, not so much for employers and future employers.


Funny thing, I was watching Sky Sports news the morning after Suarez had eaten his opponents arm and part of his torso, there were pundits debating whether he would “stop biting or not”. Most of them don’t think that he will. Hopefully they will protect future players from the zombie apocalypse and also from rabies by either muzzling the chap, and also by making sure all players, back room staff and supporters get a shot before they watch him play.



Author: ensigntongs

Husband, parent of two (dogs), music junkie, electro jiving, movie loving, needy beer liking, "alternative", fun loving, carefree, occasionally hangry, PS3 addict, funky house head bopping, willing zombie response team member, whiskey drinker, conspiracy theorist, android loving, Apple hating, Kenny Rogers respecting, life and fun loving member of planet earth!

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