So let’s just give him a random name. We will call this guy I know Tom. I know a Tom, and this is not the Tom I refer to. This is simply a fake name. If you do know a Tom who has an inferiority complex, let me know if you have come across any cures (apart from avoiding Tom all together). Anyway now that the disclaimer is done, time to dive into the rather annoying world of Tom.
A description found online describes Tom’s inferiority complex as:
“A lack of self-worth, a doubt and uncertainty, and feelings of not measuring up to standards. It is often subconscious, and is thought to drive afflicted individuals to overcompensate, resulting either in spectacular achievement or extreme asocial behaviour. The term was coined to indicate a lack of covert self-esteem. For many it is developed through a combination of genetic personality characteristics and personal experiences”
“Asocial – Avoiding social interactions. Inconsiderate of or hostile to others”
All in all we have all the things that I can tell you annoy the shit outta me about some people who are on this planet. There are some humans who need to be locked up in a soundproof room to try and help avoid ripping off my ears in a bid to be deaf of their noise making.
Now I probably sound rude at the moment but I have to be as honest as I can stomach being. I am not a 30 year old (boy) man. When I was at primary school (age 6-12) I used to have an inferiority complex. We all did as little kids.
“My dad can beat up your dad!”
“My dad picked up a car!”
“My dad picked up a car with one hand while cooking a steak on the braai stand!”
That shit was fun as a kid. Even some way into high school (age 13-18) we still used to have those conversations that used to almost turn into competitions.
“I was at home the whole holiday”
“I was in Beirut for most of the holiday”
“I was hunting lions in the Serengeti with Jeremy Clarkeson”
But we were kids and we wanted to seem relevant and not to be left out. You didn’t want to be the kid who said they were at extra lessons the whole holidays. That was wack.
Here in comes Tom with his inferiority complex. He’s in his mid 30s, has a job that funds his habits quite adequately. However the definition of inferiority complex should have a picture of him next to it as a further illustration.
We all have had different experiences in life. Sometimes when we reminisce we talk about those experiences with our friends. Most people will ask questions or maybe refer to a similar incident. Or listen quietly. Tom feels it’s a competition.
“You got so drunk you feel asleep sitting upright? I got sooooo drunk right, I climbed up a tree, pissed from the top on to a police officer, then backflipped off the apex and did a perfect 720° before landing in the shallow end of a pool. I sprained my ankle and proceeded to carry on drinking.”
We are adults dude. I don’t tell people things to one up them. So what? Tom why you gotta make shit so hard. Oh and then the trying to control conversations. If I’m talking to someone, shaking my arm repeatedly saying my name is not how you get my attention. I’m speaking to someone, so wait till I’m done then I will give you the attention you are baying for.
I used to think that Tom was a friend. After spending more and more time with him I realised that I was dealing with a social hand grenade. These are the worst grenades. These are the ones that blow up with you present and it becomes YOUR responsibility to pick up the body parts and clean up the blood splattered on the walls. Tom’s response?
a) Fuck em. That’s who I am (which is ok. Some little bit of remorse is nice)
b) I can’t wait till we go back there again; or
c) What? I didn’t do anything wrong…
So in conclusion if anyone knows how to deal with people with inferiority complexes, please advise. I’ve taken to just avoiding Tom all together and keeping conversation to a simple hi, I’m fine, how are you and work?
I did scratch him of my Christmas gift list….