Cabin in The Woods (2012) **SPOILERS… I THINK**


Runtime: Short and Sweet (a touch over an hour and a half)

Actors: Thor (Also knows as Chris Hemsworth, but a younger version who hasn’t started figured out that he is not of this planet), Some chick who’s real name is Kristen Connolly (Seems to have acted in a bunch of stuff… like a few like…. stuff. Well she acted in a movie called Cabin in The Woods), and Fran Kranz who seems to always act like he is crazy in almost all the roles I have seen him play.

Firstly, I just realised that this movie was written by the same guy who wrote Cloverfield, which I love love love!!!!!!!!

So basically there is some old god who lives below the earth, and he needs to get a sacrifice of five people. They each have various character traits which mean that if they get sacrificed they will appease this old god person living underground and he won’t come out and kill everyone in anger that the sacrifice made to him was not good enough.

So there is some organisation that has set up a cabin in the woods. Every year people go to the cabin and they get pushed to unleashing hell on themselves. The cabin is also very secluded and in some strange place that is kind of inaccessible.


This is the merman….


Anyway, the movie is kinda entertaining. The fact that most of the people in the movie get stabbed by machetes and bitten by werewolves and various other rather painful near death experiences, but keep on going shows the resolve that the human race has.


Teeth face


Some of the monsters are kinda scary, there is some decent dialogue and they made sure to add some comedic humour to ensure that those of a nervous disposition didn’t have an involuntary bowel movement when they saw the various horrors that were boxed up and ready to be unleashed.


Bat… thingy


The premise behind it made it a watchable movie and the director did very well to ensure that the movie didn’t drag on… and on… and on. The plot twists were kind of predictable but not overtly obvious. The movie didn’t keep me on the edge of my seat and it may survive a bit longer on my hard drive before I delete it simply because I can.


The leftovers of a feeding frenzy after hell was unleashed


Movie is best watched at night, alone and in the dark. For the first time I have not put any spoilers other than to say that human beings can also be very fucked up. That is quiet obvious I hope to all considering the state of the world (but that is for another time… probably never).


This guy….


All in all I give this movie 1/2 a sweaty ball out of 2 sweaty balls.




Author: ensigntongs

Husband, dog owner (two dogs), music junkie, electro jiving, movie loving, beer liking, "alternative", fun loving, carefree, occasionally hangry, PS3 addict, funky house head bopping, willing zombie response team member, whiskey drinker, conspiracy theorist, android loving, Kenny Rogers respecting, life and fun loving member of planet earth! I am also a construction professional currently working for a property developer as a project manager.

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