The Engineer Complex

I have done a lot of research (replace a lot of with a little) by doing interviews of engineers without informing them that I am interviewing them, and I have come to the conclusion that some engineers (especially those that work in the construction industry, as they are the one who I mainly work with) suffer from the engineer complex.


This is something an engineer(s) engineered the shit out of…. 


Now the engineer complex is very hard to explain so I have tried to break down some of the behaviours that us of smaller brain power can understand. You see it seems that engineers are far too clever for us mere mortals to keep up with. They have to sometimes speak a version of english known only to non engineers that they have a basic understanding of. This in turn aids them in keep us mere mortals from all sorts of demises. These include mixing dangerous chemicals that have the potential of killing everyone with in a two square meter radius, to making a concrete design that can’t hold the force exerted by the Titanic, to making proper use of Microsoft Project.


A drawing of another thing that an engineer(s) engineered the shit outta… again


All in all they tend to be pleasant people all round. In fact as much as they do not want to admit it some of them exhibit traits of humanness. I have worked with engineers who are best friends with alcohol, others who feel they need more than one woman in their lives (their wife plus one), and others who are so chill that you don’t know if the emotion known as anger has EVERY come to visit them.

I would like to warn any engineers that read this who I have worked with or work with currently that I am going to say something that you may not like… and I don’t really care. So in a sense there are spoilers…..

  1. They like to say who is an engineer and who isn’t: It not like engineers are the only professionals on this planet. So what if Lukaku is an engineer or studied engineering. The dude is now a footballer. He gets paid to score goals. I do get the feeling that sometimes they are trying to look down on me because I was too dumb to keep up with ridiculous equations that will be solved for you using a
  2. They like to show that they know what they are talking about: Ok so this is a work place and we are all adults. So unless its mathematical, opinions are like assholes. We all have one. I don’t try and prove you wrong if you say that Chelsea would win the World Cup if they played in it. That’s your opinion. Maybe wrong for a few reasons, such as why would a club team be playing against nations, and who will play if there are some guys that play for their nations and also Chelsea. However that is a conversation for another time (replace another time with never).fb_img_1475669383647
  3. “That time in college when you and some other engineer showed your lecturer he was wrong”: That’s nice. It is good to hold onto the small victories hey. It helps you to keep a focus and motivated to achieve the other things in life you want to achieve. But damn, its like that guy who wants to tell you about the number of beers he drank while hanging from a tree upside down with one hand while catching multiple boomarangs in his mouth….35924256
  4. Do you know what project crushing is? I can show you: Maybe it is the engineers who are kinda fresh out of uni/college. They sometimes think that it is their job to teach everyone a little bit of engineering. I think thats actually quite commendable.
    There is some information that you struggle to find the relevance

    We should learn some more about the built environment especially if you work in it. I sometimes wonder if some engineers think that everyone else who is working in the built environment was created out of moon dust when the project started and as such do not know a single bit of engineering? Engineering covers a lot of subjects. There is engineering in project management. It’s not the kind of engineering that some engineers consider to be engineering.

    Useless information me thinks….






    So to all my engineers out there (except for the chemical engineers and the electrical engineers coz I haven’t worked with any of you guys and have a very basic understand what the two do), keep engineering, stop being annoying. Your faculty wasn’t the only faculty at university/college. So what if you had the best soccer team. That was then. let’s do the here and now and see how that goes. There may not be any equations for you to solve, but I am sure I can find ways to keep your overactive brains from gathering dust and forgeting how to engineer the shit outta… shit.


That’s my story and I am sticking to it…





Author: ensigntongs

Husband, dog owner (two dogs), music junkie, electro jiving, movie loving, beer liking, "alternative", fun loving, carefree, occasionally hangry, PS3 addict, funky house head bopping, willing zombie response team member, whiskey drinker, conspiracy theorist, android loving, Kenny Rogers respecting, life and fun loving member of planet earth! I am also a construction professional currently working for a property developer as a project manager.

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