Eliminators (2016) *SPOILERS WON’T SPOIL THIS MOVIE*

 

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If I had seen the poster before I watched the movie, I wouldn’t have bothered. Also, the movie was produced by WWE…. 

So after 94 minutes of straining to follow this movie, I managed to conclude that I could have better spent the 94 minutes doing something else…. like sleeping.

I have to admit that the movie started off with a bit of a bang. It seems a little bit interesting. It follows an American living in London with his daughter. He works as a security guard during the day and moonlights as a single father at night. However, his world is turned upside down when three individuals break into his house and try and rob him of drugs (shock horror cocaine), only for them to realize that they have got the wrong address. After they threaten to kills his daughter (after they beat him into unconsciousness with baseball bats and he wakes up), he decides to go bad ass and kill all three of the robbers.

If the movie was to end at this point, it would have been a brilliant start and end to a movie. There would have been enough mystery around who this main actor dude was, why his wife was dead, and it also showed that he was a bad ass and loved his daughter so much that he was willing to murder some dudes in self-defense.

Unfortunately, the guys who wrote this movie decided to carry on with the movie. They then made up some feeble story about him being some agent for some unnamed secret agency in ‘Murica, how his wife was killed because of the job, and how much he loved his daughter (even though he kills her grandfather at the end of the movie).

What then ensues in between the rather bland story telling, is a lot of chase scenes (It seems like they ran across most of London), semi-exciting fight scenes that had a lot of slow motion wrestling moves and more drop kicks than one would see in The Royal Rumble 2017.

I would strongly suggest that if you have nothing to watch, don’t watch this movie. Take your chances with watching paint dry. That would be more engaging than watching these guys running around and getting paid to act as though they are distressed.

The movie was so distressing that I am struggling to find many more words to describe the feeling that I went through, lying in bed and concentrating on the occurance of the actors in this movie. It didn’t even have a happy ending when it could have had one. They actually killed the only possibility of giving it a happy ending. They also ensured that there would be no room for a sequel (Thank God!) but tying up all the loose ends.. all one of them.

Watch at your displeasure!