Resting Bitch Face: Default Position of Zimbabweans

science of rbf
They blacked it out but after the word resting the word “bitch” is there. It’s just the same colour font as the background

I have decided to use this particular phrase as the jump of position for this weeks rant.

Most Zimbabweans general setting is the resting bitch face. I say this, not because Zimbabweans don’t smile, but because most of us always see two seconds away from telling someone to fuck off. Don’t get me wrong, when someone deserves to be advised to perform a sexual act on themselves, the feeling of liberation is second to none especially when they deserve it.

Due to the extremely polarised nature of the politics in this country (partly thanks to Western media assisting in ensuring that there was an us against them mentality, partly due to Zimbabweans taking an us against them and each other, lack of shared vision and selfish nature among other things), it is next to impossible to critically analyze things. Furthermore, the people who are supposed to be watching the people who are supposed to be doing their level best to ensure the people of Zimbabwe are happy, are only commenting here and there without getting any more involved. The validity of the excuse or the reason is neither here nor there. The “watchdogs” or opposition seem as though they are merely there to make up numbers and to complain as though they are not in a position to effect change.

rbf queen

Instead, I have found (in my extensive social media research. My opinions are my own) that the “opposition” will ALWAYS find something wrong with the guys in charge. It is easier to engage in mudslinging on Twitter whilst brandishing a resting bitch face, than to actually ask what the plan is.

So earlier today a member of the “opposition” posted a picture on Twitter of a statutory instrument with regards income tax exemption.

mahere 1

What I mostly find fascinating about this incident, is that there is this “we” that is included. I am not sure how this member of the opposition decided that everyone feels the same way.

This is the “I can tell from the way you are breathing… the answer is no” kinda look

No further information about this has been shared. Huawei is the leading 3G, 4G and LTE infrastructure developer. Most countries around the world use their infrastructure for their mobile networks. We do not know if this is to entice them to come and start getting more of our networks (there are only three by the way) onto 4G and LTE. This could also reduce the overall cost of the internet on mobile devices. I mean for me, I am more interested in what the potential pay off could be. What are Huawei bringing to the table?

Deal with it

I get that people are mad with the “leaders” who are in power at the moment. That doesn’t mean that 100% of the things that they do are shitty. I hope that in the coming days, someone who has more information on this move by the Finance and Economic Development Minister is explained so that a critical assessment of the statutory instrument can be made.

If we spend our days waiting for the government of the day to fail at everything they do, then Zimbabwe will fail. Sometimes positive criticism does a whole world of difference that negative criticism. Imagine you spend your whole time in public office being told “we are disgusted by…” without providing any context. One day, there will be a crop of “opposition” leaders who will handle themselves better than the gangs we have no. For now, there is no opposition in this country. There are people on the other side of the political divide who are more concerned about their survival as opposition and their ascending into positions of power, than the real work that is required to make this country a place where we can talk positively about the future generations can have.

Let’s lose that resting bitch face we have for everything that happens in this country. If you do something often enough, you will believe it to be normal. Some of this behaviour isn’t normal. At the end of the day, we all do it, even me. Let’s turn that resting bitch face upside down and show some teeth instead.

The Shared Vision Challenge: The Zimbabwean Context


I have been having an internal debate for some time. For the longest time, I have wondered what could be the one thing that is holding this small nation of mine back from rubbing shoulders with giants. For a tiny Africa country, we have had the same kinds of problems that other countries around the world have had. In fact, I say this frequently, much to the dislike of people I know: the problems that Zimbabwe are NOT unique to us. I know a few people who try and make it seem as though Zimbabwe is a special needs case. In some instances, it is. As far as I am concerned, we are at least 3 decades behind the rest of the world in terms of our thinking, our way of life and our understanding of what is really going on.

For too long, people have preferred the default position of “head in the sand.” It is easier to feign ignorance and say “I don’t know what’s going on, and as a result don’t care”. That’s fine. No one needs to be forced to give a hoot what’s going on.

shared vision 1

However, I digress. There are a plethora of reasons that can be given for this little nation of mine struggling to get over the first three hurdles of this dash. I could spend a whole lot of time talking about government spending, corruption, and weak institutions. Fortunately for you, I am neither a lawyer, an economist or a policymaker. I am just a citizen of this country.

The main issue I would like to talk about is the aspect of a shared vision. What is a shared vision? According to the all-knowing Google, “A shared vision is what you and the other members want to create or accomplish as part of the organization. A shared vision is not imposed by one or a few people as an organizational mandate”. Using the Zimbabwean context and my own interpretation, a shared vision is when all interested parties are actively involved in the steering of this nation. Now I can already hear some of the people who are in the terraces shouting that this can never be done. “Humans are a problem. How would they ever agree?”. To some degree, I concur. Having a shared vision for a country like Zimbabwe is a waste of time and energy. Maybe it wouldn’t work.

Vector concept of creative teamwork

So I have these friends of mine who are living in the UK. They are as thick as thieves, however, they are not thieves apart from one of them who is an accountant (but that is a story for another day!). Every year, for as long as I remember, they get together and go on holiday as lads. They plan it, they fund it, then enjoy it. Job Done. That’s is a shared vision. An aim to achieve a certain goal as a collective. It requires negotiation, buy-in from other members, it needs to be financed, it requires transparency and also requires tough decisions and proper leadership. It requires for the collective to be sold a dream and to buy into that dream, to then follow that dream all the way from inception to project closeout. It requires contingencies to be put in place should any of the initial plans fall through.

Unfortunately in, and especially in Zimbabwe, the idea of a shared vision is a dream that will take some years to become a reality. The politics is so toxic that the opposition cannot and will not support the ruling party when they do something. Not everything they do should be supported. In fact, a lot of their actions have resulted in the situation we are experiencing. The opposition is where a lot of discontented Zimbabweans take their lead.

Zimbabweans have too much time fighting with each other. It has been an “us against them” situation since I can remember. I hazard to say since I was born. White vs black, Ruling Part vs Opposition Party, private school educated vs public school educated, rule of law vs lawlessness, young vs the old, those who fought in the liberation war vs those who didn’t. It shouldn’t matter whether you are white or black, Zanu PF or MDC, whether you have “war credentials” or not. Right now the time is not about who is more worthy than others. If you need a blood transfusion and you are in the hospital, the doctors won’t ask you which political party you support, or if you mind if the blood donated is from a black or white person, they will simply save your life.

A shared vision should be like receiving a blood transfusion. How it is administered and by whom are other issues that can be addressed in their own time.

The biggest danger that I see from this lack of shared vision is the development of the nation. We will continue to accept mediocrity and act as if it is ok. We do not have to agree with each other politically or ideologically. However, if we are talking about how we want the best for ALL Zimbabweans, we must be willing to come together, as that good is bigger than your religion, race, sex or ethnicity. We need to stop the vitriol that is can be seen on social media. Zimbabwean’s are angry, but they are angry with the wrong people, and most of the time at the wrong times. Less anger this decade. Please.


New Year, New Decade

Wow, it has been a long time since I came and shared some random thoughts on my blog. Today, I am somewhat motivated to start doing a little bit more.

I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas and a wonderful new year. This is a new decade that has begun and there is a lot that I hope for in my personal capacity and also for this small nation of mine.

This year, I have decided to definitely make more of an effort to write a lot more. Writing musings has never been something that I did a lot of, but this year it will be good for me to fill your brains with the random ideas and thoughts that cross my silly mind.

Anyhooo for those of you who are there and who still take the time to read my stuff, thank you for the silent support.

You will be hearing from me soon….


Bury Everyone In Your Path: The Zimbabwean Theory

Now, this is a full-on rant. I am honestly disappointed with the way that we as Zimbabweans have been behaving. I think this is something that has plagued our nature for the last two decades. Now bear with me as I am generalizing a lot. Not all Zimbabweans who are here exhibit the behavior, but the lack of social justice warriors is making life difficult for all of us.

There was a bit of noise made on the internet about social justice keyboard warriors. These are people who easily get annoyed by something they see and they stick it on some form of social media and express their unhappiness with a situation. My problem with social justice keyboard warriors is that they will complain from the comfort of their homes where they have all the things they need. Most of the time they are speaking so that they are known to complain about things that do not really affect them.

No place like home

I had a period as a social justice keyboard warrior, however, I tried to proffer solutions or advice, better yet I always try to disseminate information to my friends and anyone else bored enough to read my blogs and follow my tweets. As time went on, I started to realize that there are some things that my fellow citizens of this country need to know about.

So for those that do not know, the last 18 months in Zimbabwe has been an interesting journey. Zimbabweans do not want to realize this, but for the last two to two and a half decades we have been living a false life. The prices of goods and services have not been realistic as we haven’t had our own currency for the longest time, and when we were using the US Dollar, prices of goods and services were still incorrectly priced. Most Zimbabweans do not even know the true value of a US Dollar. I remember at one stage, a beer was USD$1, a loaf of bread was also USD$1 and a ride on public transport was also USD$1 from certain parts of Harare to the city center. How in the world are these three very different products and services the same price when they have different factors associated with their individual price breakdown.


As a result, there have been strange things going on around the pricing of goods. To give you an example, there a sports club that I used to frequent. A shot of gin is cheaper than a can of tonic water. In fact, the tonic water costs twice the cost of one shot of gin. How does that even make sense?

So we now have a situation where suppliers of goods and services are profiteering from the struggling Zimbabwean. I appreciate that if an entity is in business, then their aim is to make a profit. I do not have that much of a problem with service providers charging ridiculous amounts of money for their services and goods. Competition (or what little of it there is in the Zimbabwean business landscape) dictates that eventually, those guys will reduce their prices because their products will move slowly as the consumer becomes wiser about their spending habits and looks for a better deal. Also if I feel that I am being ripped off by a supplier, I will find another supplier who provides a similar product at a price I am willing to pay.

The real problem I have is with the individuals in this country who are screwing the system and then screwing their fellow Zimbabweans. Of late there have been stories floating around about how Zimbabweans are making life difficult for each other. There is an Engen service station which I drive past on my way to work every day on Harare Drive. I recall about a week or so ago, as I was driving to work I saw a short fuel queue. I joined it and when I was at the front of the queue, I took out my bank card to pay before they put fuel in my car. They advised me that all payment platforms were down and that they were only accepting cash. I thought nothing of it, drove off and was annoyed for a little bit, but decided that I would have to find another service station. I didn’t think to ask to see the point of sale machines to verify.

Somewhere in the Eastern Highlands

“I am not surprised the system is down. It’s so old and needs a lot of upgrading. It is not uncommon for the network to drop.” I said to myself. However a few days later my cousin then advised me of the same situation at another service station, except there were guys walking through the queue SELLING cash to people who wanted to buy fuel at a 30% premium. So basically if you wanted to put ZWL$100 you would have to transfer ZWL$130. What annoyed me, even more, when I heard this story was that the guys selling the money worked for the service station. Like what the fuck guys? So you BUY cash at a premium and then buy fuel from the same establishment. These guys were basically making money on both sides with no regard that the situation that ALL Zimbabweans are in. It’s not my fault I don’t have cash on me. In fact, the system was broken by individuals who were hoarding cash and as a result, the Banks had no cash to give customers because of the lack of deposits of physical cash. So why am I being punished when I go to the service station to buy a product using one of the legal tenders, only to be lied to and taken advantage of simply because I don’t have access to cash? This isn’t profiteering. This is straight-up robbery.

Somewhere in the Eastern Highlands

The fact that we do not have the ability to truly show some sense of compassion is the downfall of this beautiful nation of ours. I feel annoyed when foreigners say that Zimbabweans are the nicest people in the world. We are nice to visitors yet we treat each other like dog vomit. It makes no sense to me. The fact is that we have a LONG way to go as a nation. We have serious mindset issues that need to be addressed and changed, and we have to HONESTLY have some national pride.

For the longest time, Zimbabweans have made the fight between us and the ruling government without realizing that in the background we are fighting with each other at such a base level. We are the sum of all our problems and the solution to those problems. I am proud to be Zimbabwean but also ashamed at the same time. The dodgy deals that the government get up to are no excuses for us to do the same to each other.

Chinhoyi Caves

Zimbabwe belongs to the people who were born in this country, and those who have lived here for so long that they know no other home. It doesn’t belong to a select group of people. It belongs to you and me. The citizens of this country. If there is rubbish everywhere its because we as a people do not care about the environment. It is our responsibility to ensure a future for the generations that are coming, otherwise, we will always be remembered as the generation(s) that let a beautiful thing die. Once we start to plan for the future properly, we will see a light at the end of the tunnel. Until then, Zimbabweans need to take a long hard look at themselves in the mirror and ask themselves if what they are doing is benefiting the bigger picture or is it just blatant greed with the disregard for everything else.

Let’s do better as Zimbabweans.




I Cry For Home Part. 1

I hate talking about my country when I have nothing good to say. I used to actively avoid it. The last few weeks has shown me that I have probably been doing it all wrong. I had a long conversation with a friend of mine last night and there were a few things that made me upset, made me laugh and angry all at the same time. Oh yes and also confused.

Now there are a lot of issues that I want to cover and to make it easier to read I am going to split them up into a few blogs.

In any country that you live in that has a reasonably civilised government (I cannot call the current government of Zimbabwe civilised but that’s my own opinion), you can kind of see the method to their madness, they will tell you stories that are 80% true because they don’t want to burden the citizens with the truth. I think that’s better than what my government has been doing since they came into power under what I consider to be dubious circumstances on my birthday in 2017.

I am not even too sure where to start. What honestly pains me is to see how far we as a people in Zimbabwe have gone in the same direction that our “leaders” have gone in. The moral fabric that we have left in us is worrying in my opinion. We have gotten to a dog eat dog world. The levels of profiteering are beyond me. It seems that we look at the government and we are basically copying them. In some instances, I think it is justified. There are some costs that need to be passed down the line to consumers, while there are others that could be passed along more gently by retailers/service providers coming together to discuss how to manage the situation. A simple example is when the government waited until the middle of the night on a weekend to announce that the price of fuel was going up by 150%. First of all, this was a dick move because this was done in the middle of the night. In fact, a friend of mine had spent the whole day in a fuel queue, only to get to the pump just after midnight (the price hike came into effect at midnight) and was horrified to be advised that the price was $3.31 per litre of petrol. The additional $2 that was added by the government is a tax. So we have the 2% transaction tax, we have a $2 tax on fuel, we have a carbon tax…. Like what the fuck? Now we can debate whether it was right, legal or necessary another time. The fact is, fuel had to go up as it was much cheaper than the region.

The downstream effect of increasing the cost of fuel doesn’t seem like it was looked at properly. Public transport in this country is run by private individuals. Those individuals immediately increased the fares in response to the price hike. Now, this is where I feel that they could have handled the situation a little better. In a civilised country they would have come together, discussed the fuel hike, done their calculations and then possibly raised the issue with the relevant ministery to advise them about their position. The problem is, the government doesn’t regulate the public transportation guys, and a lot of other industries I might add, very well. In fact, with these public transport guys, they are essentially a law unto themselves. The government’s response is to engage private players (shock horror) to partner with the actual (defunct) public transport government parastatal. The government parastatal’s vehicles are all but grounded due to lack of maintenance and other issues.

As in their “best” practice, the government stitched up this deal without giving any details as to what was agreed between these private players and the government. The government is going to have to pay these guys for the service, and the government is going to get the money from us taxpayers, further eroding what little we earn as we will be taxed for it.

The result is that future generations are going to continue to bail out the government. They had a big drive that they said they were going with to reduce their domestic debt. At the same time, they have decided to increase their debt with this arrangement which they hastily put together. It had the desired effect of reducing the cost of transport that the cowboy private transporters. Some people are praising them for this move. I see it more as a reactionary knee jerk reaction that is going to come to a head soon and the position will still be the same.

I guess we have no other option but to simply accept what we are provided with by our government. It’s not living if we can’t find bread, fuel is frighteningly expensive, we don’t have basic services like cleaning drinking water from the taps and our roads are in a state that makes it a mission to drive around unless you have a car with high clearance. Living in this country is like being a prisoner in your own house. At the end of the day, this country does not belong to one person or an elite group of people. This country belongs to every single person born or raised here. It is our responsibility to do our best to ensure that future generations have a chance to make something of their lives. Zimbabwe was here before most of the people in this country, and after we leave it will still be here.

Let us change our mindsets about how we care for the environment, how we made it conducive for all to have a chance to be the best version of themselves, let’s change how we do business with each other, let’s move forward from the mindsets that we have been stuck in since I can remember. Our lack of togetherness about the vision we want for this country will always be our downfall. The vision isn’t some pie in the sky vision of having an underground running and high-speed trains. The vision needs to be practical and start to address the basic things that every human needs to start to survive in this crazy world we live in.


Backwards or Sideways

Happy 2019 to you all. It has been a very long time since I had a chance to blog. I feel bad because it is something that I enjoy doing but haven’t had a chance to do it in a while.

Things have gotten really wild at home in the last four or so months. There was a pronouncement that made no sense made by our Minister of Finance which resulted in people losing their collective minds and suddenly charging exorbitant prices for products. Of course, none of our salaries have been adjusted and we are collectively seeing our bums. Prices in most places have more than tripled, there have been a few companies who have successfully held the govt at ransom and succeeded, however, there have been civil servants who have tried to hold the govt at ransom (most of the reasons made sense, though one of them didn’t) and they failed. It is hard to understand when our junior doctors are on strike citing unsafe working conditions in the public hospitals (no surgical gloves, medicines to name a few) they are threatened with being replaced with other doctors who are aren’t working, but when a company that produces alcohol indicates that they are going to start charging for their alcohol in real currency, the govt backflips to assist their business but doesn’t seem to do the same for our doctors. Sure we can get into arguments about the Hippocratic oath that doctors make. However, if the working conditions are not safe, then one shouldn’t work.

This surely shows that we have misplaced priorities in this country. The misplaced priorities extend further than just the govt. We as a nation of people also have very misplaced priorities. We are all suffering in our own ways, but when I spoke to some people, they were more upset about the fact that this beer producer wanted to charge in hard currency and not in the funny money we have. They seemed to be unconcerned with the fact that the public hospitals were under-capacitated in terms of staff and tools. It almost feels as the though the govt decided that if we as a nation sober up to the actual plight that we are in, the nation would descend into madness. Well, we are already deep in the madness as it is.

Unfortunately, the hole that we are in as a nation is deeper than we realise. The fact is that we do not have the forex reserves to properly operate (The reasons why we have a shortage of forex is a debate for another day.). Everytime forex comes in (be it from tobacco or gold or the mythical diamonds that we have in this country), it is used to cover a gap. The earnings we receive shouldn’t only be used to bridge gaps otherwise that’s all we will spend our time doing. It means that there is no development happening in the various industries.

Sometimes I feel like the govt is like a student. When I was a student I used to live paycheck to paycheck. I didn’t earn much, but I knew that by the end of the second week of the month I was skint. What’s funny is that I actually had a specific attitude to the little money I would earn. I had two monthly expenses which I used to pay as soon as I got paid. I would pay for my monthly transport ticket (my justification was that now I could travel to university and work) and I would pay my monthly phone line rental (I could call people). After that, I would have one or two nights out with the boys and then I was screwed. I wouldn’t have money to buy myself anything nice or do anything other than going to the pub to watch football or going to a bar. For me, that was allowed because I was a student and I didn’t know any better. A govt can’t exhibit such behaviour. They aren’t a student… or are they?

Like it or not, there are many issues that need to be resolved if we are to ever go forward in this country. There are some issues that I won’t even go into because I have limited knowledge about some of the subject matters and they would need their own analysis. I do foresee the govt having a torrid time playing catch up with the private sector because they left the likes of public transport to the private sector, the setting up of the fibre network also to private players, they let a mobile money platform take over payment methods in this country without having any control over them, and the mobile network providers erect their towers around the country without having some control over it. Now before I get attacked for what seems like the singling out of a particular company, please bear in mind that these are just a few examples that came to my mind.

What is worse is that the govt has let the nation become ruled by service providers who do whatever they want, charge the prices they want to and there is no reprise for us as customers, all the while we are being to taxed to hell and back by the govt with their 2% tax. How can this be a conducive environment to live in. We have no real consumer protection other than the small groups that we have to set up ourselves. We have a crisis of confidence in the govt because they simply do what they like without consulting the people who it will affect. Sure, some may say that the govt doesn’t need to consult us and they can impose anything they like. However, buy-in from all stakeholders is required.

At the end of it all, we may say that we are in 2019 in Zimbabwe, but in reality, we are very far behind. I still believe that we require a few things if we are ever to call ourselves a proper nation:

  1. Accountability for everyone
  2. Transparency from those in positions of power
  3. The WILL to actually change the way that we have been doing things.

This year is going to be one hell of a ride. Ultimately all we can do is try and remain positive through it all, tighten the belts and be ready for anything. At the moment there is no crystal ball that can tell us where we are headed. The way I see it sideways seems to be the only direction that we are going in. Sideways might be me being optimistic. It may be a slow slide backwards




Seasons Greetings to All of You!!!

I hope that everyone had a good Christmas and are planning on have planned an enjoyable New Years Eve. Mine will be spent with my wonderful wife and a few friends. There will be drinking and eating and general merriment being made as we usher in a new year.

Let us go into this new year with an open heart. Let us try and continue to be grateful for what we have and not complain about what we don’t have. Let’s not look back on 2016 and compare it with 2017. The mantra should be that 2016 was not a great year. Let us strive to make 2017 more memorable, more entertaining, more adventurous and more loving that 2016 was. It is possible if we try.

To all the friends that you may or I may have parted ways with in 2016: Everything in life happens for a reason. Sometimes it is a need for space, sometimes we are not good for each other, other times life gets in the way and you may be gone from sight but far from forgotten. Ultimately we have to make sure we take care of number one. We all have varying degrees of love for the people we know, but there are some people who are more of an emotional drain that an addition. We need not feel bad about the decisions we make as this is the university of life. We are forever learning.

May we strive to continue to plan plan plan. This is the first step to achieving anything we want to. I hope that everyone plans on being a better person, husband, wife, child, grandchild, grandparent, father and mother in 2017. Let’s all strive to take better care of our health, which will take care of our wealth; let us also take better care of the world we live in. There is only one planet Earth, and some may not even get to see the beauty that some of us are fortunate enough to have been given.

If I did not get a chance to see you in 2016, I will hopefully make it up to you in 2017. Be safe on the roads, in the bars, at the dinner dances and at your homes this New Years Eve.

Good Bless

Tongs & Bibi

30 Days of Sobriety

Success Kid 13092016092314.jpg
Well, today is my 30th day alcohol-free. Now I have to be a little honest and say that it wasn’t entirely 30 days of no alcohol. I had the flu right at the start of my chosen sobriety and had to take some cough mixture. Not enough to get me drunk, and it wasn’t coz I wanted to get drunk that I was drinking it. But that is another story.

Anyway, 30 days. In a row as well. I am not adding up week days and taking weekends out of the picture. This has been a full-on assault on liver recovery. It has been an interesting experience and I thought that I would share my warped and holier than thou opinions on how this went for me and what I think I have learned. The fact is that along with all human beings having some form of OCD (some mild, others extreme. I have to have my books organised so one side of my very mini library I have all my fiction books and the other side has all my non-fiction books), we also all have problems with addiction.

Of course, the addictions change from person to person, and from continent to continent. The news is awash with stories of strange addictions. They go from the harmless addictions (eating toilet paper) to the simply ludicrous (drinking your own urine).

Regardless it is important for us to look at how we treat our bodies, and maybe try take care of them a little bit better. The last time I stopped drinking for this long was a few years back when I was still at university in the UK. It was Lent and I decided that I was going to stop drinking for forty days and forty nights. It wasn’t THAT hard. All my friends became EXTREMELY annoying when they were drunk. I couldn’t stand the noise in the bars/clubs and I was tired before midnight and wanted to go home. I soldiered on, though. I still went out with the guys, still went and watched football but didn’t drink beer and at the end of it I didn’t learn anything because I think I was still too young.

Some of the Realisations

Well for one thing I have taken the term YOLO to heart. You only live life once. Enjoy it, cherish it and learn as much as you can. I don’t think YOLO means that you should go and be destructive in the maintenance of your body. Sure we are only here once, but rather make it a comfortable stay.

  1. Alcohol needs me more than I need alcohol: This was probably one of the first realisations that I made. Alcohol needs me to spend money on it. I don’t need alcohol in my system. I haven’t woken up with a hangover in the last 30 days, and boy does it feel good. I wake up on weekends full of energy, I am eating better and most of all I am sleeping much better than I have in a long time. Anything to excess is a problem. I didn’t need to get drunk when I used to get drunk. I only did because alcohol needed me to. My dad used to say something to me when I was terrorising him as a teenager: “Alcohol was there when Jesus was here. It is going to be here after you are gone.”. I never fully understood what he actually was talking about but now I understand. It’s not a new phenomenon. It was here before me and it will be here for a time to come. So I don’t need to act like I NEED alcohol.Nick Young 13092016092239.jpg
  2. Peers, Peers and Uncles: So then there are these guys. The friends and uncles. Most of my friends have been very supportive. Some of them have been confused by my decision to stop drinking. I think it’s because I was such a cool guy when I was drunk… or maybe because I used to help fund other people’s habits. I don’t know. I do know that a quick breakdown showed me that 65% of my friends were supportive, 5% didn’t think I was serious, 18% thought I was joking, 6% still don’t believe me and another 6% heaved a sigh of relief. Also my uncle said I wasn’t his nephew anymore coz I had stopped drinking. Interestingly a few of my peers were all for it and very very positive about the trip. My wife joined me a little bit late, but she’s also taking a bit of a liver detox.The Great Gatsby 13092016092145.jpg
  3. Will I ever stop drinking?: That’s not my intention just yet. I don’t think that I will be on it every weekend like I used to. I know that on my birthday, my wife’s birthday, my anniversary with my wife and for most of December (Silly Season) I will most likely have a few to a lot of alcohol beverages. Generally, though I think that I will keep a zero to the bare minimum consumption level of alcohol.
  4. Zimbabwe is very backwards: I keep telling people that Zimbabwe is still in the pre millennium stage. We haven’t hit the year 2000 yet. I say this because we still allow smoking indoors (clubs and even restaurants), companies that sell cigarettes are still allowed to advertise their products and the dangers of alcohol are still not being told to people.savanna-advert-of-their-pacific-brand-behind-bat-at-rothmans-in-harare


I think it is also time for us as adults and the ones who are supposed to be the shining example of those who are following us, to be a bit more serious about the things we do to excess. It makes no sense sometimes. We don’t drive around at 200km/hr. We stick to the speed limit because there is a danger of having an accident. Well why do we then want to drink enough for a few people and repeatedly without taking any days of rest? The liver may be a resilient organ that recovers quite quickly from the workouts we put it through. That doesn’t mean that recovery should be its default position. John Jonah Jameson Laughing 13092016094257.jpg

Anything in excess is bad for you. I believe that the sum of our problems cannot and will not be solved by getting drunk regularly. There is no need to get drunk everyday. There is nothing at all that you will be proving. When I was younger life was always a competition. It stops being a competition because the only race you can win is your own race. There is no medal for proving to everyone else that you know that you are a bigger drinker. In fact, it’s more a weight around your neck being known as the village drunk.

Life is too short. YOLO

chill out lemur 13092016113836.jpg

The Problem(s) With Black People (Especially Zimbabweans)

Gosh for the longest time I have avoided going into this but I feel as though the time has come for me to really get some shit off my chest. There are a few people who might read this and get annoyed and frankly good. There are some real truths that we need to admit that are greatly slowing down our progress and keeping us as niggas and not becoming black people.

1. Lack of helping each other: Now this is something that might be special to black Zimbabweans. What is wrong with helping your fellow brother? We have this really weird mentality that it’s better to see another nigga fail that helping him achieve what he is setting out to. Instead of growing a business by letting someone with skills that are lacking in your business, we would rather try and go at it alone. Whats the point? It makes NO sense. Instead of pooling our information resources and growing something, most feel that nigga tendency of just taking it like its their own.

2. NOT LISTENING: Oh this one really gets me. Again quite special to black Zimbabweans. We don’t listen. We hear and our brains immediately translate it into something else that we want to hear and then it takes off from there. We also by not listening do like to give people a chance to express our opinion. You must have the same opinion as everyone else. This comes down to the beer you drink, where you drink it, how you drink it, how you hold it. If you don’t do it my way you don’t know what you are talking about or what you are doing. How the hell are we supposed to progress if this is how we think? Like come on! Opinions are like assholes. We all have one. We are entitled to those opinions. If I don’t like Nandos, it’s coz I don’t like Nandos. Not coz I am a lost soul who got dropped as a baby. Come on!

3. Accepting change: Now this one also refers to the older black Zimbabweans that we have hanging around still. I was at the local sports club having a few drinks and there were three elders (older members. Near or around retirement age) having their usual vodka and coke. I wasn’t taking much interest in their conversation till I heard one of them pointing at me and saying “These vapfana (youngsters) should be the ones running this club now…” before he could finish another elder who was there immediately refused and said no (see point no.2). He tried to explain how I wouldn’t be equipped to do the job as if I had agreed already. The other elder tried to explain that yes due process would need to be done inorder for it to be transitional blah blah blah. But the elder who first rebuked such an idea was still very much against it.
I don’t mind much. If the club dies with them, well what can I do. Times are changing though. They aint getting any younger and can’t be the decision makers for ever now can they? Man it’s 2015 in the rest of the world but here in Zimbabwe it’s just hit the millennium. Time has moved on…. like a lot! But we still acting like it aint.

4. Stealing Ideas: You know this is a classic one. You can’t trust a nigga as far as you can throw them. And most of them have dense bones so it makes it very hard to throw a nigga far at all. Now here in lies the problems. I have always thought that if I have an idea, if I tell someone that idea they might see a gap I missed, they might fill a gap I missed, or they might help me take that idea from inception to conception. Nah Zimbabwean niggas will take that idea and try run it themselves. There is nothing wrong with that idea. They would sooner run the idea into the ground and fail with it that dream of the possibility of you doing it and it taking off. Like seriously? What the actual fuck? Yeah niggas are hungry, struggling and all. But that shit aint right man.

5. Pulling other niggas down: It feels like black Zimbabweans are in a barrel of shit. The only way we can make it to the safety of the top of the barrel where the rarefied sweet fresh air is, is by pulling other niggas down and climbing over them. Instead of trying to help each other it would be better to leave a brother lurching… on his own.. smelling of shit.

You see I always use this example to explain what the problem with black Zimbabweans is. If I have a pie and I own 100% of it I am happy. But I won’t share that 100% of the pie with someone else, even if it means that my, say 40% is worth more than my previous 100%. Why? We want it all.

Aint no progress that’s gonna happen if some niggas don’t wake up! Those are my random thoughts for today. Peace

P.S. There are probably another 15 reasons, but due to time constraints, I was unable to do all of the reasons in this sitting… There maybe another sitting with a few more problems

Well Hello There….

Wow it has been a long time since I got a chance to share some of my random stupid thoughts here. I think its actually a bad thing that I stopped coz I still think this was my of self counselling. I blame work. It’s odd that I blame work for interfering with a hobby. Work isn’t supposed to interfere with hobbies. Hobbies are supposed to be managed around time spent at work. But that is the case in my life. Unfortunately I have been put on a rather boring project that seems to be finally coming to an end. I have always said how I love the construction industry because you can never have two identical projects. It is simply impossible because of the unknown conditions that will be encountered on the site and also what may be happening economically globally. I think fate decided to laugh at me and I got sent to a low cost housing project.

My Site
My Site

The thing is with this project, once you have built one block of the little houses, you have basically completed the project. What I mean by that is that it is basically repetition. Doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over (700+ times) again. The challenges that are faced on site are the same. The only thing that changes is the day of the week and the manner in which the challenge is expressed (either angry, bored, tired, frustrated or confused).

Low water table
Low water table

I’m enough of waking up at 5am to try get here by 7am. It’s actually done my head in now. I actually want the project to come to an end now. And it almost is. I am afraid of fate though. I could end up being sent into the middle of the bush for an undisclosed time. I am fortunate that I am on a project that’s actually in Harare. I guess there are somethings to be grateful for.

In other news:

Must watch TV:

1. Luther (Starring Idris Alba. British show. Super TV. Shout out to Herb for getting me on it)

2. Downton Abbey (British show [Again]. Super TV [Again]. Shout out to Herb [Again])

3. Misfits (British show [Again]. Super TV [Again]. Not sure who put me on it, but shout out to Chris for checking to see if there was season 4 and 5 floating in the internets)

The other stuff going on in my life I am not ready to share with you guys as it’s too private at the moment. When the time is right all shall be revealed… (I write this like anyone actually reads this).

Till the next episode I guess…

That Zimbabwean Life...