Be who you are. Not who you want people to think you are

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I remember when I was much younger you would get social acceptance from what you had. Be it the latest shoes, watch or enough money to go and eat and drink at certain places. Sometimes I would find myself subconsciously thinking “I wish I had that…”. To be honest, there was an element of jealousy to it when I was a teenager (I miss those days. Being old sucks [said the 29 year old]). At that time I didn’t realise the fact that everyone is at different stages. There really is no fascination about what someone has. So what to be honest.

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There are some traits that I hate in the human race. The one I hate the most is blatant arrogance. I am not going to talk about why I hate it as this is not the subject matter. The other trait that I hate is one that I was reminded about a few days by someone who I used to consider to be my friend. That is the show off. At my humble young age of 29, telling people in a bar very loudly about what I have and what I have achieved is something that is not done. Who am I trying to impress? Gone are the days that rattling on about what countries you had been to or what you did gives you any greater social standing (as far as I am concerned). In fact as far as I am concerned it shows a very one dimensional aspect to a person.

Why do people brag? Why do they embellish stories? Ultimately we are a silly species. Sometimes we do things because it makes us feel better that we are above other people. It a bit late in life for that now. We all have various things that we have done or are doing that have gotten us to where we are. My bank balance doesn’t make me who I am. I would like to hope that all the experiences I have had in life with my family and friends make me who I am.

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The thing is about the show off, he or she is generally not that bright. They may be smart, but they are not bright. The problem is they spend so much time trying to make people say “Wow!!! he’s amazing/hard worker/big spender/achiever”, that they end up tripping over their own feet in the hope of trying to make themselves sound to be amazing/hard worker/big spender/achiever. They will probably never be able to stop themselves because as they go on with these exaggerated and sometimes untrue stories, they probably start to believe their own delusions of grandeur.

Now before you shout at me for being so hard on “the show off”, there are two kinds. There is the one who generally has access to buying and doing amazing things, and talks about those things. That show off is a little more bearable. Ultimately all I can say is “keep doing what you are doing.”. The other kind of show off is the one who says things that don’t make logical and mathematical sense. Now this is the show off that I can’t stand. This particular person who I am referring to is the second kind.

In my expert medical opinion (I have been practicing and qualified for all of 0 years), this is a trait that is as a result of the inability to actually fit in to social situations. Now I think it is something that is very acceptable as a teenager. I see teenager walking around in groups and I always sit there and scratch my head wondering what they talk to each about. Hell, I can’t remember what we  used to talk about when I was a teenager.

As an adult, it is a little more than “I just bought a car worth more than $30,000. It’s outside. I did it all by myself with my hard work. Can you imagine? It was paid for one time, from my produce. My produce. That’s how successful I am at the moment.”. My response in my head is “So what? What is the point of sharing? Why are you sharing? Because I haven’t bought a car like that now, does that mean that I am a failure?”. I stopped and realized that it wasn’t me with the problem. I was fine actually. I am healthy, I am happy. Why would he be making it a point to obnoxiously share his success?

Ultimately you can’t spend your life trying to impress other people by telling stories that don’t have 100% truth. You are better off shutting up and sitting down. Life is not a sprint, neither is it a race. It is, a very long journey. Some will get to the end of their race sooner than other. However we will all know when you get to the end of your race.

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It’s absurd to divide people into good and bad. They are either charming or tedious – Oscar Wilde

 

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Happy People

I initially had a different semi rant that I wanted to share with the very few people who read this, but I changed my mind after a late night visit and semi drunken conversation with a very good friend. By the way I have had one too many gins and Transformers 1 is playing in the background… if that makes sense at all.

 

There is a big struggle that I go through with regards to who a person is. The difficulty is that there are the expectations that other people have of us. At the same time a very important person in my life once (and many times thereafter) told me that in life you must do whatever makes you happy. As friends all you can do is try and advise people what YOU think is the best course of action or behavior. Of course now when you are in a committed relationship, we try and change other people and who they are or how they behave. It’s a bit of an annoying thing because you have the best interests, but if you fail to explain your behavior then its gets tricky.

 

But I have slightly lost the train of rant. We are all individuals and there are some things that cannot be change come hell or the zombie apocalypse. We all need to accept that sometimes as stubborn as everyone is (coz according to a band I once heard in the UK all humans are germs), the things that we say to each other are more of support and advice than anything else. 

 

There is more than meets the eye… with you – Sam; Transformers