Jurassic World (2015) *Spoiler Alert: There are Dinosaurs*


Jurassic World

So after watching it being advertised on TV for about three consecutive days, my wife and I (read as I. I told her I was going to download it and she kinda agreed) decided that the advert was getting to that stage that we probably had to download the movie and watch it.

So I did. I have to say that I was already expecting the big budget aspect of it. I mean this is Jurassic World man. From the park to their own secluded island in the middle of nowhere. I mean that makes TOTAL sense. Let’s keep a whole bunch of prehistoric animals on an island… like a petting zoo. Awesome.

I will not go into how ludicrous an idea it is to use the DNA of dinosaurs to bring them back to life so people can pet them. People always end up dying. We have our own animals that puny humans are trying to control that end up devouring people in real life. Let’s not give people ideas.


Anyway, the movie basically revolves around four people. The hero (some dude), some woman who works at the Jurassic World Petting Zoo (I feel like the slogan should be “Where all the creatures are larger and way older than you and could eat you!”) and her two nephews. Everyone is irrelevant in the movie and some people die.

So the woman and her team have been genetically splicing various animals with the DNA of dinosaurs to create the great new attraction so that Jurassic Park Petting Zoo can continue to justify her exorbitant salary and all the perks she probably gets but never gets to experience them because she is always working. I hope I have successfully painted how much of an evil corporation Jurassic World Petting Zoo is.

Anyway, these people never learn and slice some stuff into this thing they make that eats its sibling before embarking on a rampage only to ultimately take down by the OG nigga Mr. T-Rex. The two monstrosities fighting was quite hilarious because they both had short arms as they were both variations of the T-Rex. I have to give the directors of the movie a high five for getting what a fight between two T Rex’s would look like.

Anyway, the movie was actually quite entertaining most of the time. The love story was ridiculous, the nephews were annoying and should not have lasted as long as they lasted (in the real world without dinosaurs they would have lasted maybe ten minutes), but they did show some stuff from the first Jurassic Park(s) which was nostalgic. There were some good comedic exchanges between some of the characters which made for some good rib-tickling.

The CGI was good and there was an effort to make it look realistic, and the orchestra playing hand-made instruments made the Jurassic Park(s) theme sound as if it was being played for the first time. It was epic.

Above all it felt like a B-movie with a lot of effort and time put into it. There are movies that have ridiculous premises but are horribly enjoyable (Sharktopus, Sharktopus vs Whalewolf, Inception, The Matrix, Face/Off, Alien, Aliens, Swordfish, Mission:Impossible to name a few. For the record I do like all these movies except for Mission:Impossible) and this was one of them. I mean I don’t think it will last very long on my hard drive as I need the space for other things, but it was fun to watch. Maybe more so in the cinema (but I ain’t about that life that much).