I have managed to convince my beautiful girlfriend to come and give a guest spot on my blog. She has agreed to come in once and month and have her say. Without further delay, meet Bibi.
Before we get started, let me just say, this is not a bragging session or an ode to my (very patient) boyfriend. This is just an account of my personal feelings…
Once you become an adult, you become free to have relationships. This is an essential part of human growth. What I have come to realise, is that there is a difference between being an adult and being a woman.
If you ask all my friends, my most recent catch phrase when I speak about my bf is “I take my relationship VEEEERY seriously”. This isn’t just something I like to say (even if it does roll off the tongue quite smoothly!) This is something I live. To the outside world, I can see why my relationship may seem so “rosy” or “perfect” or whatever, but in reality, this isn’t by accident. It is hard work! I will say that I’m blessed with a person who doesn’t know how to stop talking, and therefore we talk about everything. I’m gonna just run that by you again, We. Talk. About. EVERYTHING.
This has, of course, led to a number of tense conversations (which by the way people rarely see because we have a rule about not fighting in public). This is the thing though: loving someone may (or may not) be a choice, but being with them is. I know who, and what I have chosen. The things I don’t know, well I can only have FAITH.
They say “Love is about giving someone the power to hurt you, and just hoping that they won’t.” We all know that when embarking on a relationship, there is the possibility of being hurt. What I have come to find out is that there can be real power in a relationship. I have grown into a woman, through to this relationship. I would love to say I did it all for him, I’m just not that selfless. The astounding part is that I actually want this for me too.
It might seem like an odd thing to say, but I am a NUTCASE. I never thought I’d find someone who thought my bad temper, my (stealth) moodiness or my tendency to say inappropriate things, were lovable qualities. To be honest I question his sanity a lil bit. He is however, also willing to work at this relationship with me. That’s where the power is. We have never had a “deal breaker” argument. Does that mean we don’t have boundaries? Absolutely not. It means that we – and yes in this I’m speaking on his behalf (we talked about it) never end an argument thinking that it’s over. Sounds easy…
When the sound of your partner breathing makes you want to strangle them, this simple task becomes a bit harder.
The way we run our relationship is based on constant communication. This does not work for everyone, but it works for us. The key part of all of this is that IT IS WORK. I feel like, if you want to have a successful relationship you have to put in the work. Full stop.
I am not expecting for our Happy Ending to just fall into our laps. We are going to fight, kick, scream and maybe even hurt each other’s feeling sometimes to get there. In the end though, it’s not the destination. It’s the person you choose to share the ride with.